We all see the benefits of implementing a wellness program in the workplace -- healthier, happier employees are more productive, have less sick days, and incur less benefit costs. It makes sense....why not have one at your company if you don't already?
Well, what if the head of HR (we'll call him Bill) happens to not be the greatest role model? Like many execs (unfortunately), Bill was tasked with implementing a program without actually believing in it. In order to check his to do box off, he gathered his staff of 2 and laid out the plan.....put together a wellness program that will save the company money - bottom line. Then Bill went off to smoke his 10th cigarette of the day.
His staff, having no guidance from their fearless leader, researched successful wellness programs. They formed volunteer groups to get the input from employees and have them participate in launching the initiative. The new Wellness Group put together Health Screening Days where they checked your blood pressure and cholesterol; brought in speakers on avoiding heart disease and diabetes; smoking cessation programs; car-safety awareness; formed company walk-a-thons; low-fat cooking demonstrations; put in healthy snacks in the company vending machines; ran CPR classes and put in Defibrillators along with training for volunteers.
In addition, the staff put in metrics to measure the cost savings over a 5 year time period to lower the benefits costs. Alas, Bill (who was moved from Sales where he wasn't performing well) wasn't brilliant enough to hire these folks, just inherited them when he was placed over HR since of course "anybody can run an HR department."
As you might have guessed, one day Bill collapsed in the stairwell (the elevator was being repaired). Due to the training of the Wellness Group volunteers, the defibrillator was first used. The first response team called 911 and soon Bill was on his way to the hospital. Needless to say, the doctor gave Bill an ultimatum....lose weight, stop smoking, exercise, or there will be no more Bill.
Shook to the core, the one tasked to implement a program he didn't even believe in, was saved by the efforts of those who cared enough to make the program successful, despite its Executive leader.
Bill is now the biggest supporter of the initiative, now often leading some of the events. Happy ending to what could have been a tragedy.....all because of the great HR support team!
Let's give all of our HR Support teams a big hand today for all of their efforts....most times it goes unnoticed, but it is appreciated!!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Should you have to schedule an appointment with HR?......
Is an "open door" policy a good thing for HR? Should there be guidelines/limitations as to who comes to visit HR, and why? and when?
HR has many roles, and is perceived differently by different people. We're seen as an employee advocate; which is true up to a point, but we're also a partner with the Operations of the business. Our role is to look at the facts from a neutral perspective, but in the end, we have to look out for what's best for the business.
HR is typically not a profit center, therefore we're considered "overhead expense" by those actually procuring sales, and those who deliver the product. We work hard not to be seen as the 'you can't do that' group, although our role is also to make sure we're compliant with laws and regulations.
We have workloads, like everyone, which include projects, reports, meetings, and are held to deadlines like everyone else in the company. How much time can we devote to stopping our work to talk to an employee?
Extreme situation (true story):
A telecom business needed to improve their employee morale. Among other things, they put free soda machines on every floor. HR happened to be on the 6th floor, along with Finance and Accounting and the Sales departments. This HR department felt they were not being able to complete all of their work because of employee interruptions so they built a wall around their area. In order to talk with HR, you had to ring a bell/buzzer; and unless you had an appointment, you could not talk to someone at that time. AND the wall they built around HR also included the free soda machine!!
While the above goes to an extreme many would not want to emulate, there is something to be said for employee portals that can answer questions regarding benefits, policies, etc. In present times, we are doing more with less, and our people resources are often very limited. Directing an employee to a website/800 # can give the same information they sought from an HR representative, but without the interruption of other projects.
It's a tricky balance between being a "human" resource that an employee can go to when they have issues, and a business partner whose responsibility is to the profitability of the Company.
I welcome any options/suggestions to help balance the HR role in the workplace.
HR has many roles, and is perceived differently by different people. We're seen as an employee advocate; which is true up to a point, but we're also a partner with the Operations of the business. Our role is to look at the facts from a neutral perspective, but in the end, we have to look out for what's best for the business.
HR is typically not a profit center, therefore we're considered "overhead expense" by those actually procuring sales, and those who deliver the product. We work hard not to be seen as the 'you can't do that' group, although our role is also to make sure we're compliant with laws and regulations.
We have workloads, like everyone, which include projects, reports, meetings, and are held to deadlines like everyone else in the company. How much time can we devote to stopping our work to talk to an employee?
Extreme situation (true story):
A telecom business needed to improve their employee morale. Among other things, they put free soda machines on every floor. HR happened to be on the 6th floor, along with Finance and Accounting and the Sales departments. This HR department felt they were not being able to complete all of their work because of employee interruptions so they built a wall around their area. In order to talk with HR, you had to ring a bell/buzzer; and unless you had an appointment, you could not talk to someone at that time. AND the wall they built around HR also included the free soda machine!!
While the above goes to an extreme many would not want to emulate, there is something to be said for employee portals that can answer questions regarding benefits, policies, etc. In present times, we are doing more with less, and our people resources are often very limited. Directing an employee to a website/800 # can give the same information they sought from an HR representative, but without the interruption of other projects.
It's a tricky balance between being a "human" resource that an employee can go to when they have issues, and a business partner whose responsibility is to the profitability of the Company.
I welcome any options/suggestions to help balance the HR role in the workplace.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Can HR have real friends at work?
Most of us spend a significant time at our jobs. We see co-workers approximately 50% more than we see our own families. We're in constant discussions - conversing about our weekends, kids, the latest movies, and of course, our various work responsibilities.
With this amount of time spent at work, it's only natural to form relationships. But can you make close friends with others outside of the HR department?
The reality is that those of us in HR do have access to confidential information. Everything from salaries to benefits; garnishments to donations; hirings to firings. With this much knowledge, isn't it natural for those work friends to want to know more about upcoming changes (think layoffs), promotions, compensation?
What do you do when you know a work friend is going to be laid off? Over the last year, many of us in HR were in exactly that situation. Some of us even had to be the ones in the room when they were told. You feel torn between the work you do and those associated responsibilities, and the friendship you have with that co-worker.
In talking with fellow HR professionals, they shared some of their HR work friend dilemmas:
JC.....A really good friend, an exec, went through a hard personal time including the death of his parents. The exec's attitude toward work changed significantly during this period. Eventually Corporate eliminated his job and gave him a very lucrative severance package. The exec was upset and is now suing the company. Talk about a change in our friendship. I wasn't invited to his wedding, although others from the company were....he's never talked to me again.
SB.....I had a friend leave 74 messages wanting to know if her boss was going to be terminated. Apparently she was very close to her boss, who was also her mentor. I spent that weekend screening calls and erasing messages. Luckily she lived far enough away, otherwise I'm sure she would have been knocking on my door.
LD....I've had work friends ask how much money some of the VP's were making. You try to change the subject and they are relentless.
So in the end.....can you really have non-HR friends at work?.........
With this amount of time spent at work, it's only natural to form relationships. But can you make close friends with others outside of the HR department?
The reality is that those of us in HR do have access to confidential information. Everything from salaries to benefits; garnishments to donations; hirings to firings. With this much knowledge, isn't it natural for those work friends to want to know more about upcoming changes (think layoffs), promotions, compensation?
What do you do when you know a work friend is going to be laid off? Over the last year, many of us in HR were in exactly that situation. Some of us even had to be the ones in the room when they were told. You feel torn between the work you do and those associated responsibilities, and the friendship you have with that co-worker.
In talking with fellow HR professionals, they shared some of their HR work friend dilemmas:
JC.....A really good friend, an exec, went through a hard personal time including the death of his parents. The exec's attitude toward work changed significantly during this period. Eventually Corporate eliminated his job and gave him a very lucrative severance package. The exec was upset and is now suing the company. Talk about a change in our friendship. I wasn't invited to his wedding, although others from the company were....he's never talked to me again.
SB.....I had a friend leave 74 messages wanting to know if her boss was going to be terminated. Apparently she was very close to her boss, who was also her mentor. I spent that weekend screening calls and erasing messages. Luckily she lived far enough away, otherwise I'm sure she would have been knocking on my door.
LD....I've had work friends ask how much money some of the VP's were making. You try to change the subject and they are relentless.
So in the end.....can you really have non-HR friends at work?.........
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Can you be "Good" at Firing?
Dry mouth, chills, loss of appetite, sick feeling in stomach, inability to sleep, migraine....every one of these happens to me when I have to tell someone that they no longer have a position with the company.
Terminating someone's employment and eliminating their current means of providing for their family is the main reason many don't want to consider HR as a career. We're the "hatchet" team; the evil Catberts; the heartless b****s with no thought for what the results of these actions might be......as we all know, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
As a veteran of approximately 2,000 terminations, it's a wonder I can even function some days. But it brings up the question of whether or not there is such a thing as being "Good" at firing....is this even a possibility?
Usual Scenario -- HR, along with the direct manager/supervisor, calls in the employee to an office/conference room/HR . In most cases, what SHOULD happen is that the manager explains that their position is being eliminated (in the case of downsizing); or they aren't meeting their documented performance improvement plan; or possible other violation of policy(ies). They then tell them that this is their last day, and that HR will now go over the termination benefits/outprocessing.
What happens frequently is that the manager freezes (and therefore says nothing --- sometimes just getting up and leaving the room); or they sputter, hem and haw; and often their words come out as angry missiles. This leaves the burden of the actual termination to fall to HR. We're left alone with an angry/shocked/confused (now-ex) employee. It is our responsibility now to insure that person understands their situation, what benefits they may have, next steps (yes, we frequently get to walk them to their cubicle/desk/office and help carry boxes to their car), and hand them final paychecks. We have to explain that they cannot get on their computer again (for fear they will send off a company-wide email or delete important work files). To minimize interruptions at work, we have to ask them to not talk to remaining employees except for a brief goodbye; and try to not have them linger while gathering their things.
It's no wonder that 80% of terminated employees will tell you that the HR person is the one who fired/terminated/laid them off.
When your job is going away, is there anything that lessens that hurt/shock? In the case of layoffs (which is a term used by many companies, but leads people to believe they will be called back by the company -- very misleading as this is not the case except in very few industries like the airlines), what type of demeanor should you have? Sympathetic, but not pitying; calm, but not unfeeling; positive, but not happy. Is there such a thing as being "Good" at taking away someone's livelihood?
George Clooney's character, Ryan Bingham, in "Up in the Air" conducted terminations for a living.....he was firm, sometimes cold, mostly matter of fact, and occasionally insightful into a departing employee's possible future considerations for career changes. Is he our role model?
Please share your thoughts on whether there really is such a thing as being "Good" at being The Terminator.
****
Terminating someone's employment and eliminating their current means of providing for their family is the main reason many don't want to consider HR as a career. We're the "hatchet" team; the evil Catberts; the heartless b****s with no thought for what the results of these actions might be......as we all know, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
As a veteran of approximately 2,000 terminations, it's a wonder I can even function some days. But it brings up the question of whether or not there is such a thing as being "Good" at firing....is this even a possibility?
Usual Scenario -- HR, along with the direct manager/supervisor, calls in the employee to an office/conference room/HR . In most cases, what SHOULD happen is that the manager explains that their position is being eliminated (in the case of downsizing); or they aren't meeting their documented performance improvement plan; or possible other violation of policy(ies). They then tell them that this is their last day, and that HR will now go over the termination benefits/outprocessing.
What happens frequently is that the manager freezes (and therefore says nothing --- sometimes just getting up and leaving the room); or they sputter, hem and haw; and often their words come out as angry missiles. This leaves the burden of the actual termination to fall to HR. We're left alone with an angry/shocked/confused (now-ex) employee. It is our responsibility now to insure that person understands their situation, what benefits they may have, next steps (yes, we frequently get to walk them to their cubicle/desk/office and help carry boxes to their car), and hand them final paychecks. We have to explain that they cannot get on their computer again (for fear they will send off a company-wide email or delete important work files). To minimize interruptions at work, we have to ask them to not talk to remaining employees except for a brief goodbye; and try to not have them linger while gathering their things.
It's no wonder that 80% of terminated employees will tell you that the HR person is the one who fired/terminated/laid them off.
When your job is going away, is there anything that lessens that hurt/shock? In the case of layoffs (which is a term used by many companies, but leads people to believe they will be called back by the company -- very misleading as this is not the case except in very few industries like the airlines), what type of demeanor should you have? Sympathetic, but not pitying; calm, but not unfeeling; positive, but not happy. Is there such a thing as being "Good" at taking away someone's livelihood?
George Clooney's character, Ryan Bingham, in "Up in the Air" conducted terminations for a living.....he was firm, sometimes cold, mostly matter of fact, and occasionally insightful into a departing employee's possible future considerations for career changes. Is he our role model?
Please share your thoughts on whether there really is such a thing as being "Good" at being The Terminator.
****
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Crazy bosses....and NOT in a good way
Have you ever worked for someone who was crazy? I mean, nuts, whacko, or possibly senile?
Normally they didn't start out that way when you hired on...they might have seemed a bit eccentric or peculiar, but that seemed more of a quirky attribute, and maybe even a little bit fun. But one day, after you have spent 2 weeks of 14 hour days putting together a new presentation/project/system, you present the end product to them and they just look at you with a blank stare.
"Why did you do this? I'm not sure we're ready to change (fill in blank)," says Crazy Manager (CM).
You stutter, trying to form your careful words...."When we talked 2 weeks ago, you were quite adamant that you wanted this done."
To which CM replies, "I don't remember having any such discussion. I don't recall any conversation about that."
After a while, you realize that this is not an aberration, and their irrational behavior becomes more of a daily ritual. Perhaps you've learned now not to start any big projects until they have mentioned it at several later meetings. Maybe you just don't do it at all, and take the hit when one of the 500 projects they've asked for actually was expected to be done.
I've spoken to other HR folks who told me horror stories about some of the managers....One CM came in to work wearing a diaper/bib and bonnet (I'm sure just exploring his "inner child").
Another decided that everyone should go on a hike and get fresh air. The CM rented a bus and drove the employees out to a remote area. The fresh air hike lasted 7 hrs -- 2 people ended up with 3rd degree sunburn, 1 went to the ER with heart palpitations, and several were nursing a variety of bug bites, poison ivy and dehyrdration after they got lost. No water, restrooms or food. (4 lawsuits were filed from that adventure). The CM was clueless that there was anything wrong....did I mention that he led this hike wearing a toga, sandals and a crown of leaves?
Typically you would go to your head of HR. You may like the CM, but are having a hard time navigating the world of what you should do and what you can do. But what if this CM IS the head of HR? Or the CEO?
How have you handled the CM's in your life? If the CM is the head of the Company, or the head of HR, what can you do? Please tell me your horror stories and if/when you were able to resolve.
Look forward to your response.
Normally they didn't start out that way when you hired on...they might have seemed a bit eccentric or peculiar, but that seemed more of a quirky attribute, and maybe even a little bit fun. But one day, after you have spent 2 weeks of 14 hour days putting together a new presentation/project/system, you present the end product to them and they just look at you with a blank stare.
"Why did you do this? I'm not sure we're ready to change (fill in blank)," says Crazy Manager (CM).
You stutter, trying to form your careful words...."When we talked 2 weeks ago, you were quite adamant that you wanted this done."
To which CM replies, "I don't remember having any such discussion. I don't recall any conversation about that."
After a while, you realize that this is not an aberration, and their irrational behavior becomes more of a daily ritual. Perhaps you've learned now not to start any big projects until they have mentioned it at several later meetings. Maybe you just don't do it at all, and take the hit when one of the 500 projects they've asked for actually was expected to be done.
I've spoken to other HR folks who told me horror stories about some of the managers....One CM came in to work wearing a diaper/bib and bonnet (I'm sure just exploring his "inner child").
Another decided that everyone should go on a hike and get fresh air. The CM rented a bus and drove the employees out to a remote area. The fresh air hike lasted 7 hrs -- 2 people ended up with 3rd degree sunburn, 1 went to the ER with heart palpitations, and several were nursing a variety of bug bites, poison ivy and dehyrdration after they got lost. No water, restrooms or food. (4 lawsuits were filed from that adventure). The CM was clueless that there was anything wrong....did I mention that he led this hike wearing a toga, sandals and a crown of leaves?
Typically you would go to your head of HR. You may like the CM, but are having a hard time navigating the world of what you should do and what you can do. But what if this CM IS the head of HR? Or the CEO?
How have you handled the CM's in your life? If the CM is the head of the Company, or the head of HR, what can you do? Please tell me your horror stories and if/when you were able to resolve.
Look forward to your response.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Please don't ask me to plan the Company Picnic!!!
Hey, I'm all for picnics...tasty barbecue, salad and rolls...some games, kids running around laughing...it's really fun for everyone.
Everyone, that is, except me.
Why am I not able to distance myself from a logistical nightmare in which I typically get blamed for everything from the weather (once 100 degrees in May) to the lack of vegetarian items available. Not to mention bug bites, running out of toilet paper in the restrooms, and the occasional tussle regarding a husband or wife with a wandering eye.
I've tried to say, "no".....explained that I've worked hard to run a department that measures a respectable ROI, am a member of senior management, yadyadayada.....to no avail. It seem that because I'm "HUMAN" Resources, I'm now responsible for everyone's morale. Huh...so it all comes from me then....Other Department Managers don't have anything to do with morale, apparently...yep, it's all me.
How many of you have to plan parties (Fun parties) with the following:
Hours of planning meetings, site visits, caterer tastings, game and prize shopping, party balloons....and what happens most of the time....the aforementioned heat, spousal sparring, and complaints that one of the kids didn't get a good sack for the potato race.
Yes...it's almost picnic time again...and it doesn't seem that there's an end in site. Doesn't anyone want to take this over? You'll love it!!
I welcome any great ideas that have worked to offload HR being the party-planning committee.....HELP!
Everyone, that is, except me.
Why am I not able to distance myself from a logistical nightmare in which I typically get blamed for everything from the weather (once 100 degrees in May) to the lack of vegetarian items available. Not to mention bug bites, running out of toilet paper in the restrooms, and the occasional tussle regarding a husband or wife with a wandering eye.
I've tried to say, "no".....explained that I've worked hard to run a department that measures a respectable ROI, am a member of senior management, yadyadayada.....to no avail. It seem that because I'm "HUMAN" Resources, I'm now responsible for everyone's morale. Huh...so it all comes from me then....Other Department Managers don't have anything to do with morale, apparently...yep, it's all me.
How many of you have to plan parties (Fun parties) with the following:
- No budget
- Little to no help, but plenty of "volunteers" who argue amongst each other
- No alcohol
- Family friendly
- Games for all ages
- Prizes for the games
- Great food and drinks (including vegetarian, vegan, sugar-free, low-carb, low-sodium.....)
- Location w/o bugs, reptiles of any kind, close drive for everyone (even had to measure everyone's home address to the site once to make sure no one had to drive more than 15 miles...)
- And did I mention no budget....
Hours of planning meetings, site visits, caterer tastings, game and prize shopping, party balloons....and what happens most of the time....the aforementioned heat, spousal sparring, and complaints that one of the kids didn't get a good sack for the potato race.
Yes...it's almost picnic time again...and it doesn't seem that there's an end in site. Doesn't anyone want to take this over? You'll love it!!
I welcome any great ideas that have worked to offload HR being the party-planning committee.....HELP!
Monday, April 12, 2010
What if you were HR for the Kardashians.....
I am embarrassed to say that, like a train wreck, I'm inexplicably drawn to the mixed-up world of the Kardashians. I'm not sure when it happened....not even sure I knew who they were when the show first came on. But slowly and surely, I have been sucked into the antics of a family of privileged lunatics whose only claim to fame was that their late father was one of OJ's lawyers.
For those of you unfamiliar with the clan, they are led by Kris and her husband (stepfather to 4 of the kids), former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner. The offspring includes Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Robert (only male), Kendall and Kylie. They range in age from 30 (Kourtney) to 13 (Kylie). The bunch live in Calabasas, CA in a beautiful, big, new house - surely paid for by the advertising $$ from the show.
As entertaining as the show can be, I started thinking what it would be like if I was the HR Manager for this group......
Job descriptions....that's a toughie. Not sure any of them actually have jobs although we do see them at a clothing store they own from time to time. They get paid to appear at clubs while drinking and dancing. They pose for swimsuits, hamburgers, Playboy..... Does anyone have a job description for a "Celebutante"?
Dress code....well, now, can you make a dress code include the designer must-haves like $800 shoes and top of the line couture (never to be worn twice, of course)? I know as my first action, I would ban the ridiculous sweaters tied around the neck favored by Kourtney's 20 something boyfriend, Scott. I mean, this is 2010....haven't seen that since the 70's preppy phase.
Compensation.....hmmmm....where to find comparable jobs in the market? I guess you can text Paris Hilton and Rumer Willis ... Would we be able to use the Hay system?
Work hours... well I guess they're always "working" when the camera is rolling...wonder if they qualify to be "exempt"?......
Travel......They're in desperate need of a travel policy. Always off to New York, Vegas, Miami, Mexico, New Orleans, Santa Barbara....five star hotel suites (lest prissy Kim or Khloe fly into a tantrum over a regular room); and whining when they have to take (horrors) a commercial flight. Kim recently decided to shop her heart out in Vegas because she thought they had a private jet to take her home and she didn't have to worry about the luggage. Can imagine what those extra charges were...$$$
Workplace violence.....Khloe recently had to undergo anger management classes because she attacked Kourtney's low-life boyfriend, Scott. While not a fan of violence, I might have to turn my back on this one since Scott definitely deserved a lot worse than what he got.
Performance Reviews....since you actually have to have a job description with goals and objectives, this is probably not an area that would take up too much time...although I give high marks to Khloe for toning down the potty mouth and marrying someone who doesn't let her get out of hand; and to Kourtney for making the decision to be a mom (single mom, alas, as the idiot father is in perpetual toddler mode).
Disciplinary Actions.....Yep, you guessed it...Scott again....showed up drunk to a dinner and shoved a $100 bill in the waiters mouth when he refused to give him another drink....I have it all documented...it will be so easy to let him go now...PLEASE!?!
Harassment.....Only son Rob called and texted former girlfriend, Adrienne constantly since he thought they really had something special. Oh, yeah, Adrienne had left because Rob cheated on her....he conveniently overlooked this because of their "special bond". Finally it took her new boyfriend to tell him to stay away.
Employee relations..... Lots of fighting, lots of hugs, lying, cheating, drinking to excess,....oh, yeah, can't imagine if there were more of them. I foresee having legal counsel on speed dial, and an EAP counselor on-site.
Management.......Kris, Kris, Kris....kudos to her for making $$ from a clan of no-discernable talent offspring. 10-15% of everything you book for the Celebutantes....nice work. You're a little tough on Bruce, but he is a marshmallow...probably couldn't exist without you.
Hiring.....This past year brought in a new hire, Khloe's husband, LA Laker, Lamar Odom. I have to say I'm impressed by the decision....seems like he'll be here for the long-term.
Firing.....Needless to say, time for Scott to hit the road....if only I could convince EVP Kourtney....
I'm exhausted already! Think maybe I'll pass on this job....I hear Dunder Mifflin needs someone. Sounds like an easy place to work for an HR Professional.......
For those of you unfamiliar with the clan, they are led by Kris and her husband (stepfather to 4 of the kids), former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner. The offspring includes Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Robert (only male), Kendall and Kylie. They range in age from 30 (Kourtney) to 13 (Kylie). The bunch live in Calabasas, CA in a beautiful, big, new house - surely paid for by the advertising $$ from the show.
As entertaining as the show can be, I started thinking what it would be like if I was the HR Manager for this group......
Job descriptions....that's a toughie. Not sure any of them actually have jobs although we do see them at a clothing store they own from time to time. They get paid to appear at clubs while drinking and dancing. They pose for swimsuits, hamburgers, Playboy..... Does anyone have a job description for a "Celebutante"?
Dress code....well, now, can you make a dress code include the designer must-haves like $800 shoes and top of the line couture (never to be worn twice, of course)? I know as my first action, I would ban the ridiculous sweaters tied around the neck favored by Kourtney's 20 something boyfriend, Scott. I mean, this is 2010....haven't seen that since the 70's preppy phase.
Compensation.....hmmmm....where to find comparable jobs in the market? I guess you can text Paris Hilton and Rumer Willis ... Would we be able to use the Hay system?
Work hours... well I guess they're always "working" when the camera is rolling...wonder if they qualify to be "exempt"?......
Travel......They're in desperate need of a travel policy. Always off to New York, Vegas, Miami, Mexico, New Orleans, Santa Barbara....five star hotel suites (lest prissy Kim or Khloe fly into a tantrum over a regular room); and whining when they have to take (horrors) a commercial flight. Kim recently decided to shop her heart out in Vegas because she thought they had a private jet to take her home and she didn't have to worry about the luggage. Can imagine what those extra charges were...$$$
Workplace violence.....Khloe recently had to undergo anger management classes because she attacked Kourtney's low-life boyfriend, Scott. While not a fan of violence, I might have to turn my back on this one since Scott definitely deserved a lot worse than what he got.
Performance Reviews....since you actually have to have a job description with goals and objectives, this is probably not an area that would take up too much time...although I give high marks to Khloe for toning down the potty mouth and marrying someone who doesn't let her get out of hand; and to Kourtney for making the decision to be a mom (single mom, alas, as the idiot father is in perpetual toddler mode).
Disciplinary Actions.....Yep, you guessed it...Scott again....showed up drunk to a dinner and shoved a $100 bill in the waiters mouth when he refused to give him another drink....I have it all documented...it will be so easy to let him go now...PLEASE!?!
Harassment.....Only son Rob called and texted former girlfriend, Adrienne constantly since he thought they really had something special. Oh, yeah, Adrienne had left because Rob cheated on her....he conveniently overlooked this because of their "special bond". Finally it took her new boyfriend to tell him to stay away.
Employee relations..... Lots of fighting, lots of hugs, lying, cheating, drinking to excess,....oh, yeah, can't imagine if there were more of them. I foresee having legal counsel on speed dial, and an EAP counselor on-site.
Management.......Kris, Kris, Kris....kudos to her for making $$ from a clan of no-discernable talent offspring. 10-15% of everything you book for the Celebutantes....nice work. You're a little tough on Bruce, but he is a marshmallow...probably couldn't exist without you.
Hiring.....This past year brought in a new hire, Khloe's husband, LA Laker, Lamar Odom. I have to say I'm impressed by the decision....seems like he'll be here for the long-term.
Firing.....Needless to say, time for Scott to hit the road....if only I could convince EVP Kourtney....
I'm exhausted already! Think maybe I'll pass on this job....I hear Dunder Mifflin needs someone. Sounds like an easy place to work for an HR Professional.......
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